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Phyllis Diller
American
July 17, 1917
Comedian
My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
Phyllis Diller
Tags:
Me
Used
Father
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Phyllis Diller
Tags:
Age
Your
Through
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Phyllis Diller
Tags:
Work
You
Only
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
Tags:
Want
Them
Things
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
Tags:
Good
Beauty
Only
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Phyllis Diller
Tags:
Women
Because
Them
The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience.
Phyllis Diller
Tags:
Get
How
Thing
