Feel Quotes

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Patton Oswalt

American

January 27, 1969

Comedian

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I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.

Tags: Up Nothing Against

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In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.

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I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing.

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To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.

Tags: Like Get Stuff

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George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.

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Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.

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I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.

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90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.

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I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.

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Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte; I didn't know what I was doing, and I was going to work just as hard as I do on my stand-up.

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One of my groupies gave me a film that they made, and it ended up being amazing, so I got it shown at South by Southwest. If I can help get their stuff out there, then great.

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There are times when I have to take, I call it a 'silence bath,' where I shut off all of the external gadgets. I go walk around, talk to people, and just live life for a while.

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Based on my own experience, when you're going through adolescence you don't know how the world works. You can't set a story in the world you live in because you don't know what a utility bill is, or how to budget your paycheck.

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Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience; you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room. You've just got to be in the moment and go with it.

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What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking; if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.

Tags: Beauty You Think

This sounds like a brag, but I know how to make good fried rice. I learned in college. There are two secrets - take the rice after you cook it and let it get cold in the fridge. Then cook the egg like you're making a fried egg and just before it's done, dump the rice and veg on it and swirl it around.

Tags: Good You Like