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Fred Allen
American
May 31, 1894
Comedian
The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
Fred Allen
Tags:
Men
Space
Had
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
Fred Allen
Tags:
Want
Own
Anything
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen
Tags:
You
Live
Place
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen
Tags:
People
Other
Where
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
Fred Allen
Tags:
Never
Any
His
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
Tags:
Time
Religion
People
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
Fred Allen
Tags:
Time
He
Own
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
Tags:
God
Them
Some
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
Tags:
Men
You
Life
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen
Tags:
Time
History
Age
