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Pat Paulsen


American
July 6, 1927
Comedian
The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
So I got into growing grapes, not realizing that there was a heck of a lot more to it than meets the eye.
Pat Paulsen
Tags: More Than Lot
Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.
Pat Paulsen
Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
Pat Paulsen
Tags: People About Who
I will not claim I will solve all the world's problems by myself. If I did, I'd have to run as a Republican or a Democrat.
Pat Paulsen
Tags: Will World Myself
I think we should just tip the government if it does a good job. Fifteen percent is the standard tip, isn't it?
Pat Paulsen
Should we continue to spend billions to subsidize foreign military dictatorships, or should we concentrate on taking better care of the one we have right here at home?
Pat Paulsen
Tags: Home Should Right
I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.
Pat Paulsen
Tags: Me Get Want
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
Tags: You Will World
Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.
Pat Paulsen
Tags: Out Would Only
Now that my wine has been served in the White House, why not me? Who could talk to farmers better than I? Somebody even asked me the other day if I had anything in my platform about taxes. 'Hell yes,' I said. 'Great state. But I wouldn't want to live there.'
Pat Paulsen
Tags: Great Me About